“Til death do us part” sounds romantic for many couples, but it’s far from what happens in every marriage. There are signs that a marriage may be in trouble, some of which can show up as early as the wedding day. These signs are not written in cement but are significant indicators of a relationship that won’t last.
You’re unhappy
The joy dissipates for couples heading toward divorce. The fights and disagreements come, and they may not recover. Unreliability, constant criticism and hostility seem to hover on the surface. It’s a disturbing sign that the relationship is in danger.
You avoid your partner
The unhappy spouse sighs with relief when their significant other has “plans for the night.” Spouses find reasons to not be in the room or house. Finding yourself enjoying more time away than together is a sign the marriage lacks companionship.
Everyone asks why you stay
If you’re talking to others about marital woes and keep hearing “Why stay?” or “What’s keeping you there?” then perhaps you can’t see clearly. Your answer may be poignant, but it doesn’t change the fact third parties don’t understand why you stick around.
Most interactions are negative
Conflicting couples have an inappropriate ratio of destructive interaction. It increases the closer you come to divorce. Happy couples have conflicts too but not at the ratio unhappy ones do. The negative outshines the positive for long periods of time with no improvement.
You live like roomies
You prefer to sleep in separate rooms or spend more time away from each other in the home. This can be comforting and heart-rending. Loving couples do not typically live this way, and you must consider why you do.
Deep down you know this isn’t good
Unrealistic views of the union keep bad marriages going. You love your spouse, but your gut knows that’s not enough. You can try couples counseling, but you may be better off with a therapist to help you determine the pros and cons. It’s not always what’s best for the marriage but what’s right for you.
If everything seems hard and painful, you cannot keep ignoring the signs. Breaking up is hard too, but should suffering be the alternative? It’s worth considering whether you both might be happier separated.